Friday, 2 August 2013

A Sneak Peek of The Demon In Him

Sharing writing samples is fun, it's one of the more enjoyable parts of being a writer. Choosing a sample, on the other hand, is pure torture. I want to share something revealing, but not too revealing. I want something eye catching, but I don't want to give too much of the plot away. It's hard to select the perfect passage that will offer just enough of a taste to hopefully intrigue people and make them interested in my book.

It's especially hard because I've not yet finished the first draft. I've outlined about half the book, but I've written a quarter, so it is safe to say that there will be many changes happening yet. So how do I select a sample then? How do I select something vague, yet revealing? How do I select a passage that is sure to make it into the final drafts? 

I thought of sharing the opening paragraphs, but what I will share instead is a short scene between Harley and Stan. In this scene, Stan has just witnessed Harley and Tyler get engaged. Click here to read the synopsis.

I slipped away before he could protest. When I shot out the front doors of the restaurant, I gasped for air. My chest was heavy, my stomach had a knot the size of a bowling ball and my throat was sore from holding back the emotions that threatened to explode at any moment. 

I rubbed my arms. Though there was no snow, it was still December-not really ideal weather for wearing a cocktail dress and high heels out on the side walk at eight o’clock at night. Even the freezing cold was better company than the leeches inside.  

“Why, Harley?” Stan appeared out of nowhere. He looked as destroyed as I felt. His blonde hair fell, hiding his forehead. I led him away from the windows where we wouldn’t be seen. I brushed away the hair from his face before resting my hand upon his cheek. 

“I’m sorry, Stan.”

“Why? Why him, Harley?” I could read between the lines. What Stan really meant wasn’t why Tyler. He meant, why not him. Why couldn’t it be his ring on my finger? I knew because my heart wanted the same thing. 

He hushed the sob that squeaked out of me by pressing his mouth against mine. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. As our sorrow and lust crashed together the rest of the world faded away. In another universe, I imagined myself getting in the next available taxi with Stan and running away with him. We’d leave town, or maybe even the country. Maybe we’d go somewhere tropical and lay on the beach and drink mimosas all day. But in this universe, I was with Tyler, and he wasn’t ever going to let me go. He’d kill me first. I pulled away, breathless from the kiss we’d just shared.

I'm afraid that's all you're going to get for now. Please, if you'd like to leave your thoughts in the comments, feel free to do so. 


  1. Great Job, Mariah. I think the scene you chose to share is a very good one. It doesn't give away much, and we get to see the characters at their most vulnerable. I ask questions and I guess the only way to get the answers is to buy your book. So that was a great choice.

    I love the cover art, it looks very film noir. I love noir.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Ben. ;) I'm pleased you like the excerpt, it was agony trying to decide, but I think I made the right decision.

      I chose that particular bit of art because it's kind of a darkness vs light thing, which is somewhat of an underlying theme in my book.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. It was a good choice for an excerpt, especially given your circumstances. It involves some of the major plot points while the synopsis picks up the slack.

    It's very short, but it paints a lot of the story by using not what is in the excerpt itself, but the similarities it shares with other stories. Because the reader can, to a limited degree, guess what kind of people are involved and why what is happening is happening... they can start picturing what might have come before and what might come after.

    The aim of stuff like this is to get the person interested in the entire story and, like Ben Roach said, you start to ask questions. It's a bit like a part of a recap sequence on a television show. You see it and then, like now, if you didn't see what happened, you might start tripping over yourself to find out.

    Combined with the synopsis, you have a foundation for a good book.

    Good luck.


    1. Thank you so much. It was a pain staking process to select the perfect passage, and I think I've hit the nail on the head. Thank you for your lovely comments, and your interest.