Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Writing is Hard

I got another rejection the other day, but it was for some of my poetry, so it doesn't really matter. Well, okay, it would have been awesome to have another poem published, but it's not the end of the world for me. See, the thing is, getting poetry rejections doesn't hurt me. At all. I take them with a grain of salt. It's not that my poems don't matter to me, because they do. A lot. But for some reason I take poetry rejections extremely well.

Maybe it's because I'm able to reason that poetry very much depends on personal taste. It's like picking out perfume. One scent isn't going to appeal to everyone. (actually, bad analogy for me because I'm allergic to perfume hahaha but you get my point) I know it should be the same for books, but it's not. Books are bigger. Books are harder.

I wish I could write my stories as freely as I write my poetry. I have a confidence with poetry that I do not yet have with novel writing. It's just not there. I toil and torment every chapter, every word. I feel every falter as if I have plummeted off a cliff. I can get over a bad poem like stepping over a puddle, but if I even feel that I've made a wrong turn in a story it's devastating for me. I think I'm trying too hard, but I don't think I know how to not try too hard.

Pitbully has come to a screeching halt. I'm going to force myself through this. I will. I did it with The Demon in Him and I'll do it with Pibully. I don't know how, but I'm going to do this. I'm going to write this book if it kills me. Then, when I'm done, I'll write another book if it kills me. I'll just keep writing books until they pour out of me as easily as my poems do.

I'll get there.

One timid word at a time.

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